How long should a relationship take?

I mean how long a relationship should take before moving forward to the more important decision: marriage. Well, some may suggest a number of duration. The adventurous ones could say a few weeks and immediately proudly say something about their 02-week-relationship marriage. Those who are more careful might take it up to 3-5 years and for some reason, some can even bring it up to 9-10 years.

However, I’m not gonna count it by years. In stead I would really love to take a look into the engagement the couple have with each others. Do they have fun and enjoy each moments they spend together or he/she is here with the partner just as a habit? When apart, is he/she eager to meet up to share what’s up, even just the very daily little things in his/her life? Do they feel they are just one same person, once he/she’s got some happiness or simply a good food, he/she thinks about the other and hope they can share the same experience? Does one know exactly how his/her partner may react in certain cases? Do they know each other’s habits, interests? And dreams? Are they willing to lift the partner up, reaching his/her dreams? Are they compassionate to each others or often fight to win?

To me, years is just a number, even if one knows his/her lover for 10 or 15 years (and proudly tell people about such long lasting relationship, for me, this is just “knowing”, not yet mention “loving” or “understanding”) but cannot set up an intensive understanding between the two, the break-up is just hidden or on the way. Sooner or later it will happen. If any really want me to answer “How long?”, then I would say, until when a couple find that they are happy together, they’re compassionate about each, they lose the feeling of winning the partner, they knows each others so well and want to bring them joy, not awkwardness or worry. That is when the relationship should move on to a higher level.

Next time if people tell you that the relationship is long enough to get married (this quite often happens in Vietnam), remember that my saying, years is just a number, that so-called soul connection is much more important, especially, when the couple will be busy making ends meet later on after marriage, understanding and connection would be even very very essential to balance out and keep it last.

I’ve got this poem WHAT IS LOVE from the internet at the end of my post. Try it and hope you enjoy.

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Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within
your chest?
It isn’t love, it’s like.
You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
It isn’t love, it’s lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off??
It isn’t love, it’s luck.
Do you want them because you know they’re there??
It isn’t love, it’s loneliness.
Are you there because it’s what everyone wants??
It isn’t love, it’s loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
It isn’t love, it’s low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don’t
want to hurt them??
It isn’t love, it’s pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart
skip a beat?
It isn’t love, its infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn’t love, it’s friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn’t love, it’s a lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
It isn’t love, it’s charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they’re sad??
Then it’s love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they’re strong??
Then it’s love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it’s love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain
and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
Then it’s love.
Do you accept their faults because they’re a part of who they are??
Then it’s love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it’s love.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it’s…LOVE.

It’s when they’re the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they’re the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It’s the smile on your face you get when you’re thinking about them and miss them.



2 thoughts on “How long should a relationship take?

  1. Pingback: This Is What Love Is — Thought Catalog | cherrypie Blog

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